2018-04-18

Yet another cigarette lit
All the roads never taken, I travel them in my head
Bursts of anger that rarely sees the light of day
Only when no one can see..
In my dreams you appear, exhausted I awaken
So full of life when I meet you
Another road not taken..

2017-08-14

The hall stretches out in front of me and every step I take extends it by two
Voices, mumbles, then laughter emerges from all directions
I know you’re nowhere to be found
Dry and cold, the air reeks of unease
Everyone reaches for me, none of them are you
Get well soon

LSD

The floating window on top of the desert mountain in the natural world brought me to the black space. I preferred to stay on the white surface as opposed to the black. There are pits hiding in the dark, invisible, and the sheer uncertainty of it all made me cling to what can be seen. If I had fallen down would’ve awaken. Large white cubes floated everywhere above me, except for one. It’s grounded in the white surface and even had what looked like an entrance. A child emerged from the cubes entrance, I’m not alone here. Played with a stick and a thin metal wheel, chased it and occasionally hit it with the stick ensued it to pick up speed again. Always moved in a perfect straight line. I chased after the kid, afraid to be left alone and so many questions about this place. As soon as I got within reach everything turned blue. When I come to it again I’m outside the temple, I’ve been here before – just not at this very spot. I moved around slightly hoping to see a couple of peacocks. No luck. Their rainbow colored feathers can brighten even my days. I accidentally bumped into one of the red pillars holding up the roof while turning. It was enough, I ended up in the natural world. The sun shining bright with blistering rays, a concord or other large bird could be seen in a distance, its wings moved slowly. I decided to follow the sun and after only a couple of steps I encountered a huge tortoise, breathtaking creature. Going forth with such determination. Slowly made its way towards the river, in which I had spotted a shark fin. I tried to warn the tortoise, flapped my arms to gain its attention. Unsuccessful. I got a little closer to it, but that only made it much, much worse. Suddenly it shrank in size, to a tenth of it former self. It continued towards the river and I watched in despair. I knew it wouldn’t be any match at all for the shark now. Grief stricken, I sat down, unsure of what to do. When suddenly, everything faded to white.

The next thing I recall was standing at an empty street. I could hear waves hitting the shore and saw somewhat faded tall buildings beside me. Street lights showed the way. I followed them towards the waves. The moment I could see the ocean a loud honk behind me. A red sedan at high speed drove by, still honking even though I wasn’t in the way. Due to the tinted windshields I couldn’t see anyone inside. One last honk before it leaped into the ocean, a massive splash followed and I quickly jumped in after. I must have drifted in the water, somehow I washed up in the middle of a foggy Kyoto. So moist, so cold and I could barely see anything in front of me. I noticed a wooden bridge over the canal and decided to get on top of it. I could hear a small boat approaching, an oar rhythmically hitting the surface of the water. Still too foggy to see anything yet. Slowly it emerges and it had a passenger. A geisha. Her face so pale, no eyes, no mouth, no nose – completely empty. Dark hair, a blue crepe, the vertical sides of the kimono were green while the middle portion was white with a slight dash of brown, her hands where wrapped in a purple tube and positioned just slightly above the waist. She was moving faster than the boat. It wasn’t long until she had moved in front of the boat, walking on water. Her feet made a clicking sound when they hit the surface of the water. I reached out my hand towards her and everything faded into white again.

Back in the natural world. I look around and spot two people out in a distance, trapped by the canyon. I move a bit closer and can see a bridge connecting another part of the canyon. I thought maybe they didn’t realize it was there and needed help. So I began walking around the deadly depths to get closer to them. I finally got to the connecting bridge and I could see that it was a father and daughter, seemingly trapped on the other side. As soon as I sat a foot on the bridge a giant hand with claws as big as me pushed through it, then the demons face was revealed.

Gradually, then suddenly

Unable to bring myself out of bed
A pillow just barely smelling like you
With every moment it dissipates
Getting weaker, just like me
These sleepless nights are killing me
Anxiety tightening its grip
The path so clear a second ago, now nowhere to be found

2017-06-17

A brief touch of hands, the formal greeting
My usual guarding walls disintegrated
An instant desire of wanting more
Trying not to move too quickly
Blue meets blue and a thousand interruptions
Holding on to the small moments